-branching out-

I've always been an introvert. And that probably isn't going to change anytime soon. God crafted my personality perfectly to fit His purposes and goals for my life. But, lately He's been revealing to me His heart when it comes to relationships and community. 

First of all, prayer is so powerful. Every time I've prayed over a time I would be with people who I know God is calling me toward, He has been so faithful to answer my prayer. My eyes have been opened in the past months to see what friendship truly is. Friendship is to encourage, to love, to build each other up. Friendship is real conversations. In light of that truth, I've realized all the people who I claim to "know", I don't know. And I've never even noticed that until recently. Now I pray for real conversations and He answers those prayers in ways that I would never have imagined.  

Also, my own insecurity blocks off those relationships God wants to develop in my life. I always assume people don't like me. But that isn't true. It's a lie from Satan sent to hold me back from reaching out to love people who need to be loved. He has commanded and called me to love them, even if it is intimidating. Fear of rejection keeps me from having relationships that are built on Christ. That is the most encouraging and beautiful kind of friendship. The power that raised Christ from the dead is alive in me and it is strong. Own my own I can't build relationships. I don't build them, I'm not able. But the Holy Spirit is alive and moving and God can and will build those relationships. In his time and in his way. And this is where I'm just thankful for His sovereignty. He will do what He wants and what is for my good and His glory. I can trust Him. He is in control. 

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 

Philippians 2:1&2

This girl is going to Africa.

Yep! It's true! I am. Oh my gosh. I. Am. Going. To. Africa. I've never been out of the country, not to mention to a third world country like Liberia. God has blessed be beyond anything I could ever imagine. 

I picked up the application the same day the trip was announced and returned it within the next week. Everyone else spent time typing theirs out so it looked formal and professional. I started to question the likeliness of mine even being accepted. It was hand-written and sloppy. You could tell I had written and erased words over and over again. "I probably won't get accepted". "Everyone else is a 'super- service' person at school. I do Teen Advisors and leadership things at church but I don't got to Open Door or Girls Inc. every week like they do...". But I knew that God's will would be done. Things would work out my good and His glory, as they always do. So I prayed that His will would be down, whether that meant me having this opportunity or not. 

In the past couple weeks I had gotten really impatient. I wanted to know if I was going! Even if the answer was no, I just wanted to know! But for the first time, Philippians 4:6, which I had heard my entire life, came to be a command for prayer and a promise of peace that I so needed. 

The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Yesterday when I received the letter saying I had been accepted, I didn't know how to respond. I thought I would cry, but I didn't. I was dancing around, jumping up and down, and thanking God. It didn't seem real. My prayer now is "Let this be for You. Help me demonstrate the love that has been poured out to me through Jesus to every person you place in my path. Open my eyes to see every soul as Christ sees them: a dearly loved child."

I have know idea what God has planned for me, but I am more than thrilled about it all. 

Would you be satisfied if He was all you had?

Jesus is coming back. We know that as a fact. But when? Now that's something He left us to wonder. Personally, I think it's going to be soon. Like in the next ten years soon.

And sometimes I'll ask "Could You wait just a little longer until after I get married and have my sweet babies?". But He shows me how selfish that is. He knows how much I want to have a precious love story and a beautiful wedding. He knows how much I want to decorate my first home and fill it with sweet children. And I know Jesus's coming means that won't happen.

But Jesus's coming also means that I will be with Him forever. So my resistance to His coming shows a problem in my heart. And raises a question I have to answer: Would I be satisfied if he was all I had? 

He is so much greater than anything I could have here. So I have to leave it all to His timing and trust Him. And when I meditate upon and read what the Word has to say about Heaven and eternity with Him I find myself beginning to think "Come, Lord Jesus. Come when it is Your Father's will for you to. It was never my decision anyway.'.

 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is,seated at the right hand of God. ² Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. ³ For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. ⁴ When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

~Colossians 3:2~

⁸ Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. ¹¹ When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.¹² For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

~ 1 Corinthians 13: 8-12~

Letters

Dear Fall Break,
Please hurry up and get here. You're only a day and a half away but today felt like an eternity. I don't even know what I'll do once you're here. Probably sleep. Yeah. 

Dear Benadryl,
I hate you. You made me fall asleep in two classes today. And one of those was chorus. How does one fall asleep while singing? Please explain this to me because I have no clue. And when I was asleep I had some wacko dreams. Benadryl... I don't trust you anymore. 

Dear sweet friends, 
I'm not sure exactly why, but I've been feeling especially grateful for you this week. I think it's because of our goofy little chats lately. And our ridiculous group messages. Y'all are precious.

Dear Pip,
You are getting to be such a big boy! And you're pooping on the floor less. Only a little less though. But it's progress. You are a snuggle bug and I want a blanket made of your fur. That sounded super creepy... Well, a blanket as soft as your fur.


Dear new camera strap,
I've been searching for someone like you. You're all I've ever wanted in a camera strap and I'm so lucky to have someone as great and pretty as you. :P

Dear Gungor,

Your new live CD is amazing. It makes everything like five times more dramatic and makes me lift my hands up to praise the Lord. So thank you.  

Dear Jesus,
I'm sorry I've been distant. Thank you for Your grace and forgiveness. Thank you for always welcoming me into Your arms with beautiful loving-kindness. I love you. Help me love you more.

Constant, Perfect Love

¹⁵ 

Leaving. Turning away. Forgetting. Walking right out of our lives. Falling of the face off the earth.
Whatever you want to call it, it's something we all fear. We fear our friends will leave us in the dust and forget about us. We fear our boyfriends will walk out of our lives, never to be seen again and never to love us again. We even fear our parents will turn away from us and become a figure in the distance. So we try to protect ourselves. We put up big, thick walls and say "I'd rather be isolated now than to be hurt later when they leave". Either that, OR we continue to be hurt time after time because "this time will be different" and we feel like we can completely trust this new person in our lives who seems to offer so much more than the last person but only leaves us empty. 

But Christ's love never leaves. It never is less than enough and never ends. It is always perfect. He never turns his back on us and leaves us confused. He is completely constant and never decides He doesn't love us anymore. And the best part about the truth of His constant, perfect love is that we don't have to build those walls anymore. Since He will never leave, we don't have to fear becoming too attached only later to have our hearts broken. So we can love Him with all we are, our expectation not temporary love followed by ultimate brokenness but instead constant fulfillment by His perfect love and eternity to enjoy it.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.

1 John 4:18

“Can a woman forget her nursing child,
    that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?
Even these may forget,
    yet I will not forget you.
¹⁶ Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
    your walls are continually before me.

Isaiah 49:15-16

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation of shadow due to turning away.

James 1:17

"...he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say,

“The Lord is my helper;
    I will not fear;
what can man do to me?”

Hebrews 13:5-6

The Pursuit

The Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.

Luke 19:20

Seek and Save. 

seek (verb)

1.      to go in search or quest of 

2.      to go to

save  (verb)
 1.    to rescue from danger or possible harm, injury, or loss
 2.    to keep safe, intact, or unhurt; safeguard; preserve
 3.    to keep from being lost
 4.    to avoid the spending, consumption, or waste of

God has put this verse in my path so much lately. You know what that means... Must be what I need to know!

 It is just one of the most beautiful things ever to know that we are sought after. Christ is in search of us and goes after our hearts. But after He finds us He doesn't just leave us where we are like "Oh, there you are. Well, it's nice to have found you. Goodbye now!", but rescues us and keeps us from being lost ever again.

Just like the fairytales we read as little girls, where the prince seeks the princess, finds her, and saves her from the tower, Christ does the same thing for us. Think back to those stories. Was it always the easiest journey for the prince? Not really. He would get attacked in the woods or in some kind of duel with the bad guy. Same with Christ. In order to seek and save, the Savior had to be slain. But He overcomes, saying "Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades." (Rev 1:17&18). He is alive forevermore and His love is from everlasting to everlasting (Psalm 103:17).